They have gone by many names before.  "Out of the mouths of babes."  "Why we love kids."   The list is endless.  If you've had an experience you'd like to share, please let us know so we can add it to this page.   Thank You to all who have contributed to these wonderful parts of growing up.

    --Our four year old God son, Kyle, while at Sunday school was proud of the fact that he had memorized the prayer commonly called the "Hail Mary" .  It starts out "Hail Mary full of Grace.  The Lord is with thee."  When Kyle saw his parents, he excitedly started reciting it.  He began, "Hail Mary full of GRAPES. The Lord is a TREE!"  Editors Note:  Kyle is the older boy in the picture at the top of the page.

    --A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.  "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.  "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.   "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.   "You know,” explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."   

     --It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"  The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes and my Mom says it's a b---h to iron."

   --A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."  What?"  "I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"  "No, you had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."  "WHAT?"  "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"  "I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."  "WHAT!"  "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

    --An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"  The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

    --One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"  The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said.  "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."  A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

    --When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.   She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"   I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."  "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

    --A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a b--ch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a b--ch is nine...."  His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"  The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."  "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.  "Yes," he answered.  Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"  The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."  The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b--ch is four?"  After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

    --One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.  She read, " and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"  The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"  One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy S--t!  A talking chicken!'"  The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

    --A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."  The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday school, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"  She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

    --A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"  Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."  The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"       

    --A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.  The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."  She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."       

    --A boy was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.  After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"  

    --A girl asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you hafta look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

    --A boy hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window." 

    --A girl had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her.  Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

    --A girl was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."  

    --A boy (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

    --A boy (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"  

    --A boy (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married.  How will my wife fit in?"

    --A boy (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"  

    --A girl (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

     --The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"  

     --It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the crèche when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.   He hurried outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant Jesus.  So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get your passenger, my fine friend?"  The little boy replied, "I got Him at church."  "And why did you take Him?"  The boy explained, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told Him if He would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give Him a ride around the block in it."      --A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.  The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.  Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.  The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".  The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"  The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

     --A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each hild's work.  As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.  The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."  The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."  Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

    --A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat ur brothers and sisters?"  Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

    --One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.  She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.  She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"  Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."  The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

    --The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'  A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

    --A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."  "Yes," the class said.  "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"  A little fellow shouted,  "Cause your feet ain't empty."

    --The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.  At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.  The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:  "Take only ONE . God is watching."  Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.  A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."